I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
