we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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