We won't sleep together?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
