I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
