I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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