I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
