he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
