how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
