I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
