Ambien. No doubt about it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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