so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
