we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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