butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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