You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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