My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize