I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
