My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
