i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
