i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
