Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
