i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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