he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
