Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
why is half of my head shaved?
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