I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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