My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
