he wants to bone in the snuggie
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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