This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
