I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's the barista slut.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
