so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
