I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
well most of my day revolves around power hour
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
