Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
