I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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