ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
