So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize