well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
