You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
