just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Randomize
