can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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