WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize