how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
