how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You can't just leave with hair like that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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