He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
