yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
