Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
