Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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