great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
