Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
