Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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