I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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