And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
