she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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