i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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