just come out here and I will go home with you...
operation have a gay friend backfired
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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