meet me or not, i'm out of control
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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