First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
