All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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